Only Children

by Monica Joy

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about

This album spans my first two years of high school, an extremely eventful time in my life when I dealt with a wide range of emotional periods. The first week of freshman year, I was hit with a sudden and severe combination of rare intestinal disorders. It was really difficult to balance a chronic medical condition with the struggles that teenagers already go through during this time, and my path towards independence was put on hold. My situation did, however, have its benefits. Given that I had to leave campus and was in the home/hospital program my entire freshman year, I had a lot of time to develop my songwriting. I wrote “Time Stands Still,” one of my personal favorites, not about a person as one might think, but about missing home when I was in the hospital for an extended period of time. “Rachel” is about a friend of mine whom I met in the hospital, basically my long-lost twin, sharing not only interests but almost identical rare medical conditions. “Only Children” was a song I wrote in my hospital bed about the many complex emotions I was feeling at the time, issues of growing up and life moving on, issues that can mean so many different things to so many people.

Not only was I in and out of hospitals for over two years, I was also in and out of a couple relationships. It was during my first real relationship that I wrote “Awkward,” loving how we were exploring what it was like to be in a real, lasting relationship and the awkwardness that comes with it. That was a very fun time, but it eventually ended, my illness somewhat in the way, making room for another relationship that was almost a polar opposite. By this time, I was writing songs around the clock, and this new relationship was so emotional for me it was really all that I wrote about through the entirety of the relationship, and I am still writing a lot on how it ended and the feelings that come with heartbreak. “Fallin’ Hard” and “One More Night/Angel” were both about that relationship and how it feels to be in love for the first time.

With all of my songs and with all of my music, I want to touch people’s emotions and I want to bring people together. To that end, I have created a not-for-profit called www.InvisibleIllness.org. All proceeds from my music will be used to help children with rare medical conditions by bringing people together to fund medical research aimed at furthering the diagnosis and treatment of rare illnesses that, like mine, cannot be seen from the outside.

credits

released 09 September 2012
Monica Joy: Words, Music, Lead Vocals, Piano, Keyboards
Joel Bringolf: Bass, Guitar (except “Time Stands Still”), Backup Vocals
Erik Childs: Drums (except “Angel”), Ukulele, Backup Vocals
T. Moran: Drums on “Angel”
Quimani 'Qui510' Brown: Backup Vocals on “Time Stands Still”
LeahJ: Backup Vocals on “Time Stands Still”
Jeff Tamalier: Producer, Guitar on “Time Stands Still”
Peter De Leon: Engineer
Meghan Holmes: Photography
Recorded in 2012 at Track Shack Studios, Sacramento, California
Proceeds to support www.InvisibleIllness.org

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Track Name: Awkward
We sat on the couch so very close
I can taste your cologne of Egyptian Musk
But we were miles apart
We played video games and you taught me how
To get shot by you so many times I couldn’t keep count
But I would try to start

To tell you that I want you
And I need you to hold
Tell you that it’s all you
And I like you a lot, well more than a lot

Chorus:
But it was awkward
The way you looked at me was bliss
Lips askin’ for a kiss it was so
Awkward, the way you held my hand too tight
Something there it wasn’t right, so
Awkward

We watched a movie on a summer night
My head on your shoulder didn’t fit quite right
Cuz we were miles away
We had a lot of fun don’t get me wrong
You taught me how to play lovesongs
But I wanted to say

To tell you that I want you
And I need you to hold
Tell you that it’s all you
And I like you a lot, more than a lot

Chorus

I knew that we would be this way
I just gave in and said that’s okay
I wouldn’t want it any other way
Being awkward with you baby that’s where I’ll stay

The stars are shining and the moon was full
You took half of my heart, made it whole
Even from miles away

Chorus X2
Track Name: Time Stands Still
Must’ve been a year, felt like a century
Could’ve been a year, I know when you’re away from me
Only was a week or two, felt like a decade had gone by
I cannot sleep because you are always on my mind
Oh time stands still when you’re not here
Time stands still when you’re away from me
Time stands still when I’m by myself
Time stands still when you’re gone
Oh time stands still, standing still
I’m missing you
Baby, I’m missing, missing you all over again
Must’ve been a month oh, felt like a thousand years
I’ll never get enough every time you break my trust
Oh time stands still when you’re not here
Time stands still when you’re away from me
Time stands still when I’m by myself
Time stands still when you’re gone
Oh time stands still, standing still
I’m missing you
It’s been too long since I’ve heard your voice
Driving me crazy you ain’t left me no choice
Can I call you? Tomorrow please?
I need to hear your voice speaking softly to me
Oh time stands still when you’re not here
Time stands still when you’re away from me
Time stands still when I’m by myself
Time stands still when you’re gone
Oh time stands still, standing still
I’m missing you
I’m missing you
Track Name: Fallin' Hard
I fell into your arms
I opened up your heart
The one you gave to me
I crashed into your world
I was your only girl
Your mind I’ll never leave

Distance makes the heart grow fonder
But in the end the heartbreak’s stronger

I’m falling hard for you
You make it easy to do
Into your arms I fall into
The long day is through
And I’m fallin’ hard for you

Fire blazed over my chest
Your words, my mind’s a mess
I’m under your spell like all the rest

Distance makes your heart beat stronger
But in the end my heart won’t wander, 'cause it still belongs to you

I’m falling hard for you
You make it easy to do
Into your arms I fall into
The long day is through
And I’m fallin’ hard for you

I’m falling hard for you
You make it easy, easy
Easy easy easy
I’m falling hard for you
You make it easy to do
Into your arms I fall into
The long day is through
Oh, it’s finally through

'Cause I fell into your arms
I opened up your heart, your heart
The one you gave to me
Track Name: Rachel
Rachel was a pretty girl, that won’t ever change,
But God, He wanted different things for her and rearranged
Her life for good.
Rachel laughed and played, but sometimes she would cry
She never let it all come out, but what she hid inside
No one understood.

She waited for a new day
Danced when there was nothing left to say
She laughed at the world when it all fell apart
Cried at the world when she felt it in her heart
That she was Someone
Unlike anyone
Alive

Rachel watched the television, watching others play the part
Of a girl and of a world she knew that she was not
On the outside
Rachel knew she had a chance, and rode that everywhere
She stayed strong and battled on, even though she was scared
On the inside

She waited for a new day
Danced when there was nothing left to say
She laughed at the world when it all fell apart
Cried at the world when she felt it in her heart
She waited, oh I waited
Oh, I laughed and I cried
Oh, I was someone
Unlike anyone
Alive

Rachel was a pretty girl, that won’t ever change.
Track Name: Angel (One More Night)
One more look in your eyes, their colors always a surprise
Filters light from the corners of your soul
One more touch from you lips, run across my fingertips
To the half that makes me whole

I want to love you so desperately
I want your heart alone to lead me
Cuz you’re an angel, angel
I’ve seen your halo and your wings, your wings
One more night in your arms
I would do anything
You know I’d do anything

One more fall for your heart, it trips me up I fall apart
But I know that you will catch me if you can
One more clutch in your arms, I get lost in your charm
And how my fingers lock precisely with your hand, your hand

I want to love you so desperately
I want your heart alone to lead me
Cuz you’re an angel, angel
I’ve seen your halo and your wings, your wings
One more night in your arms
I would do anything

For your smile, I can taste the desire
One more breath one more dream
Where it’s only you and me
And the world finally turns
Finally fires up, and burns
And our wake is nothing short of love
Of love, of love, oh I might be in love

I want to love you so desperately
I want your heart alone to lead me
Cuz you’re an angel, angel
I’ve seen your halo and your wings, your wings
One more night in your arms
I would do anything
Track Name: Only Children
It started out as just another game
The tone of a bedtime story
We laughed and played, and learned from one another
Our childhood in all its glory
That when I’d tell you
I couldn’t play no more
I wanted something real, real, real
That’s when I’d say
I wanted something more
What you said it wasn’t real

We were only children playing a game of tag
Watching Phineas and Ferb
Splashing in puddles getting wet
Only children, Marco Polo in the pool
Riding our bikes on down the road
Never a worry or a fret
Close your eyes and count to ten
Open your eyes, here I am
Run around, find your friends
Play until the end
Play until the end
We were only children

You spoke of things
I’d never heard of
Things magical and marvelous and grand
We could watch all the scary movies
I’d be okay 'cause you’d be there to hold my hand
That’s when I told you
I couldn’t take it anymore
I wanted something real, real, real
That’s when I broke your heart
Right into two
For something more real

We were only children playing a game of tag
Watching Phineas and Ferb
Splashing in puddles getting wet
Only children, Marco Polo in the pool
Riding our bikes on down the road
Never a worry or a fret
Close your eyes and count to ten
Open your eyes, here I am
Run around, find your friends
Play until the end
Play until the end
We were only children